(Getty/FilmMagic via nydailynews.com)
For the love of all that’s holy … these two are going on a date for, you guessed it, a reality show.
Dear Reality Show Producers,
While it’s true I’ve expelled no litter of children from my own womb, nor been responsible for someone else expelling a litter of children from her womb, I would make just as compelling a reality television character as either of these asshats.
I’d invite any of you reading this to e-mail me. You can follow me around for a couple of days to see what you think. The highlights of my day include, in no particular order:
* Hot water in my shower. LOVE this!
* Wasting time in the morning on Facebook looking at pictures of people who are doing far, far cooler things than I am.
* The weighty sighs of frustration on Metro!
* … Here’s a biggie … DEADLINE! I have one every day! Sometimes two of ‘em or more! This is high drama, producers. High drama.
* Text messaging! See me talk to any number of people during the day about myriad topics including “people I’d like to choke slam” and obscure trivia.
* Reading gossip columns … where I immediately realize I’m just one freak of nature occurrence away from my own television show.
* Waiting after rush hour 20 minutes for a train home (now with Internet underground on my phone)
* Explaining the same thing four times to various service-oriented personnel
* Cooking various forms of dinner … If you’re looking for an expert in Hamburger Helper or grilled cheese sandwiches, I’m your girl. Cooking show, perhaps?
* Obsessively checking my bank and credit card balances (Never let it be said my finger isn’t on the pulse of the Zeitgeist)
* Sleeping, especially on weekends. You’ve literally got hours of footage here.
So, maybe we can talk, producers. I’m ready and able to start immediately. Put me in whatever zany situation you can dream! I may not be the most attractive girl in the room, but I’m definitely the clumsiest, and I don’t know if you’ve checked YouTube lately, but videos of people falling down get hundreds of thousands of views. I’m comedy gold!
Love,
Jacque
Seriously, though. Would you watch this show with Jon Gosselin and Nadya Suleman? I love horrible reality television as much as the next person, but I don’t think I could even bring myself to watch this willingly.
Popularity: 1% [?]
Good holy hell. I thought this was bad enough when she just admitted that she had a crush on him. Now they are going out on a date?
Reality Television has officially become THE worst entertainment ever.
I’m waiting for a new octo-version of the Bachelorette for this chick. But it should really be on VH1. If they could fill a house with girls competing for Flava Flav, surely they can come up with a ton of (really crappy) potential Baby Daddies.
As Lenny put it to me just now: “Well, apparently Jon likes anything with a blown-out vag…”
Seriously, WHY?! I just…can’t…argh…*head explodes*
This edition of “Why I Love Lenny” has been brought to you by KFC. Taste the Grilled Side of KFC.
She seriously looks retarded in that picture. Mental retardation is screaming from her stupid lips and ugly forehead.
Wow. Wow. Holy crap. Can you just see it now – Jon + Nadya + However many kids that freak lady actually has, like a ton + Kate + 8? Reality TV has seriously gone to hell. Although I like the idea of the VH1 dating show for Nadya…
Jon & Nadya Plus 24
Come on, now, GOW. You’ve got it over Octo-Mom in the “most attractive person in the room” department. Though if you were an octo-mom yourself, your clumsiness would mean you’d totally trip over the various babies littering the floor!
Octo-tax-deductions as the nine-months lagging indicator of the stimulus. Also, I need to get the word “package” in there somehow.
Here’s the latest from Jon on the topic:
Gosselin said in his statement that he is “troubled to learn that the media has accepted as true the scurrilous rumor that I would appear in a reality television program with Nadya Suleman” and goes on to say that such reports are “utterly false.”
“I do however accept that some of my previous actions have in some way lent credence to such outrageous stories,” Gosselin said. “I am well aware that my behavior over the past few months has not always reflected my personal and religious values. I further accept that I have allowed myself to become somewhat severed from my own moral anchor and be carried away by the challenges of fame.”
(via: http://www.cnn.com/2009/SHOWBIZ/TV/10/29/jon.gosselin.rabbi.shmuley/index.html)
Thoughts?
My thoughts are Jon knows he’s in trouble. Here’s our lead item from one of the pages I edit:
http://www.washingtonexaminer.com/politics/blogs/yeas-and-nays/Gosselin-circus-could-be-coming-to-town-8457422-67355137.html
He’s in huge trouble for all of the problems he caused with being in violation/quasi-violation of his contract with TLC. I’d venture to say he’d recant on anything you’d want him to at this point.
Screw TLC… I’d like to hold him legally responsible for violating his contract with humanity to not be a complete dipshit.
You know, it would be great to have my own reality TV show, or to be part of a reality TV couple, but I just don’t think I’d be able to completely switch off all empathy for those around me, especially kids.
It would be really hard, yeah. It would also be hard to just have someone filming things you don’t think twice about … like the 30 minutes I just spent at the grocery store. I mean, other than my wicked shopping skills of four nights worth of dinner plus other essentials for under $40 … I’m not much to watch then.
I live in a two bedroom apartment. I work 2 jobs during the week, have the radio show at nights. I bowl on Sundays and eat out 90% of the time.
I also jerk off alot.
Yeah, that’s my reality! When do we start filming?